I woke up this morning with my stomach in knots. Today I had an appointment with my OBGYN and even if I already knew what he'd say...I just couldn't help feel a bit overwhelmed I guess. I've had Endometriosis for years. My uterus and fallopian tubes have always been severely damaged, thus I was told bearing children would probably be difficult, or impossible. I've always felt the Spirit impressions of having these kiddos quick and close together. I've always expected miscarriages, that just never came. I expected years of trying to have just one, but I got 4. They really are my walking miracles. But, after having Tessa last summer my body just couldn't take it anymore. It's a painful disease, surgeries help, but the tissue will always grow back, until I don't have a uterus anymore. A couple of weeks ago I had another surgery, this time losing one of my ovaries. My Doctor told Mike while I was in recovery that my uterus looked bad, to put it mildly, and he thought that was the real source of the pain. (I'm grateful for this Doctor. He tells me how it is. Doesn't sugar coat anything - that's one of the reasons Mike is so good for me too!)
So this morning, I knew what was coming. The Doctor told me this disease, and having these kiddos has just done me in. So, I can't have any more kiddos and I'll lose my uterus near the end of the year or so. The last blessing I received from Mike, on the morning of my surgery, he said that Heavenly Father is pleased with the way I am living my life. That's all I'm really concerned about, that I'm choosing good things and that Heavenly Father is proud of me. I am so grateful that I have these beautiful kids, a wonderful Doctor who is able to help me, a husband who is worthy of holding and using the Priesthood and the best family in the world. And this might sound cheesy but I am grateful for my blog. I have reconnected with so many amazing women through it. I love seeing all the pictures of your lives and children and being able to "chat" with you.
I apologize for this lengthy post and no cute pictures of my kiddos, but I guess I'm just wearing my heart on my sleeve today. Hope everyone is doing wonderfully today!
Lyman Family December 14, 2014
6 years ago