I woke up this morning with my stomach in knots. Today I had an appointment with my OBGYN and even if I already knew what he'd say...I just couldn't help feel a bit overwhelmed I guess. I've had Endometriosis for years. My uterus and fallopian tubes have always been severely damaged, thus I was told bearing children would probably be difficult, or impossible. I've always felt the Spirit impressions of having these kiddos quick and close together. I've always expected miscarriages, that just never came. I expected years of trying to have just one, but I got 4. They really are my walking miracles. But, after having Tessa last summer my body just couldn't take it anymore. It's a painful disease, surgeries help, but the tissue will always grow back, until I don't have a uterus anymore. A couple of weeks ago I had another surgery, this time losing one of my ovaries. My Doctor told Mike while I was in recovery that my uterus looked bad, to put it mildly, and he thought that was the real source of the pain. (I'm grateful for this Doctor. He tells me how it is. Doesn't sugar coat anything - that's one of the reasons Mike is so good for me too!)
So this morning, I knew what was coming. The Doctor told me this disease, and having these kiddos has just done me in. So, I can't have any more kiddos and I'll lose my uterus near the end of the year or so. The last blessing I received from Mike, on the morning of my surgery, he said that Heavenly Father is pleased with the way I am living my life. That's all I'm really concerned about, that I'm choosing good things and that Heavenly Father is proud of me. I am so grateful that I have these beautiful kids, a wonderful Doctor who is able to help me, a husband who is worthy of holding and using the Priesthood and the best family in the world. And this might sound cheesy but I am grateful for my blog. I have reconnected with so many amazing women through it. I love seeing all the pictures of your lives and children and being able to "chat" with you.
I apologize for this lengthy post and no cute pictures of my kiddos, but I guess I'm just wearing my heart on my sleeve today. Hope everyone is doing wonderfully today!
16 comments:
I have really enjoyed getting to know you and your family better through reading your blog. The love you have for your family shines through. Good luck and my prayers are with you.
I'm sorry.
Tiff- your perspective makes me grateful for the chances that we have in life. Often I see responsibility where I should be opportunity and joy. What a blessing your kids are to you, and that you listened to the prompting that allowed you to have them when you did to love and enjoy them!
Love you Tiff!
Tiffany....YOU'RE AMAZING!!! (Always have been, always will be) Your children are beautiful and you for sure have been blessed. I bet your an awesome mommy...your kiddos are lucky to have you for their mom. Bye bye uterus...you served your purpose, now take a hike!!! Good luck with the surgery and everything else that goes along with that. Love you long time!!!
Tiffany,
You are so amazing to me! I love to come and check in on you. Today I was thinking of you randomly, and now I know why ;0) I was seriously thinking, what i just said," What an amazing woman you are." You always speak such nice words and carry your life in such grace. I love that about you! I can relate to some of your pain, as well as your joys...I don't know if I ever shared with you my "FEMALE" story, so to speak... When I was 12, the Dr's were certain I had ovarian cancer and would need to take ALL of my female organs...when they got in to do the procedure, my "cancer" somehow changed to a VERY large ovarian Cyst...No cancer. They did need to take a portion of my ovary, and also told me it would be difficult to have children. We are now on our 4th, and I too am VERY certain this will be our last. I have an abundance of scar tissue that has accumulated over the years and yadda yadda...I don't want to bore you with my story, I simply am grateful that your willing to share yours and in some strange way maybe we can carry these earthly burdens together. I do think of you, just as I did today, and I am grateful to have you in my life, even if your further away, than once before. Take Great Care ;0)
Tiff - you are amazing - I echo all the words already written. I am so glad for your friendship even if you are in Vegas (I think you guys need to move to Yuba City!) I love your family too. I don't know what I would do without Valerie helping me out all of the time with Josh! Good luck with your surgery, I'll be praying for you!
Oh Tiffany I am so sorry to hear this. you are such an amazing woman and such an amazing mother to your four kiddos. I love your blog and I love to read how your family is growing. Good luck with the surgery, when ever you do have it and know our prayers are with you.
I love you Tiff!
It has been amazing to reconnect and to get to know you in a way that I never did when we lived by Mayfair Lake! Thanks for your example and inspiration!
Tiffany your an awesome woman PERIOD You're a great Mother, Wife and Daughter and Sister. I remember you being worried that you wouldn't be able to have children before you met your Husband, when I heard that you were able to have all the kids that you have I knew there was a reason, it's because you're such a great person and God said this lady needs to have kids to teach them how to be great as well. Good bye Uterus, you were great but it's time to start feeling better.
Love ya!
Janelle
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I am so glad that our Father in Heaven blessed you with 4 beautiful children, they are so lucky to have you as they thier mother. You are such a fabulous mother and your love for them shines so bright!
Wow, Tiff. I had no idea you had endometriosis. What an amazing blessing your four BEAUTIFUL children are! I know it must be hard to be going through so much, but at least you know you listened to the spirit and followed those promptings to get those kids here! I am sure you will always be grateful for that! You are just amazing!! And I wanted to say am so glad I've found your blog and was able to reconnect and stay in contact with you! I love being able to see the things going on in your life!
Miracle babies indeed. We'll pray the surgery goes well. Following the promptings is the key to joy these days....I'm happy you've got your kiddos.
Oh Tiffany! I'm sorry you have to go through this!! Your children really are beautiful! You have so much faith! I definitely look up to you!
you're a-MAZE-ing.
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